the picture was taken when mizan was 9-months-old on our vacation to japan. insuch the age, he had separation anxiety in its peak. he only wanted to be with me. now mizan is 19 months, still having the same problem. he follows me everywhere. even sometimes, i have to carry him while cooking, mopping the floor, or doing any other households.
it was annoying, of course. but it's inevitable. as mizan spends 24 hours a day with me, he thinks that its only me who love, care, and protect him. once we separate, he shows his anxiety by crying or even worse, screaming.
as explained here, separation anxiety most commonly occurs as early as 6 to 7 months and peaks between 10 to 18 months. how do i deal with this in my everyday life? i just try not to separate with him as much as i can. since i am not working, its kinda easy for me. but im gonna be off to work again soon, so i just try to communicate it with him from now on. even it seems like he does not understand what im saying, i know he does. i have experienced this too with mikal, when he was about this age. we lived by ourselves,the 2 of us, when i was having my masters degree. i needed to write up up dissertation while he was being the sweetest distraction to it. i finally put him in the best nursery in town while i was off to campus to do my dissertation research and writing.
based on my experienced with mikal and mizan, what to do best to overcome these problems (for you and your baby):
- minimize separation with your baby
- if you have to go without him, communicate it with him first, and repeat the communication frequently.
- if you have have someone else to take care of him, give him some time to know the carer first while you are still around.
- be firm to your feelings, even if you hear him crying, go, and never look back.
- while you go, every little thing will remind you of him (my experience!!). when this happens, send him a prayer, and he will be alright.
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