the smell of mama

when i left my job and  being a full time mama for my kids, nap time was always my favourite time of the day. when my children were taking a nap, i could have my free time to do all the households, just sitting and do nothing, watching my favourite serial movie, or even stealing a nap with the boys.

what had in my thoughts was that i noticed  when i had a nap with them or just stayed close to them, they could sleep peacefully  for hours. then i realize that it was my smell that made them so.

i remember it also happened to me not only when i was younger, but also now when i am being a mother myself. as a kid and teenager, i loved to be in my mom's room. it was the coziest place in the world. i knew it was the smell of my mom that kept me stay in. now, as a mom, i still love to be near her. i love her scent. it is peaceful and it always makes me feel safe.

Baby's sense of smell starts long before they were born.  when babies are in the womb, their senses start to develop. when they arrive in the world, most of their senses fairly well developed. they cannot see well yet, but  the smelling, hearing, and tasting are how they get to know their mom and begin to form a strong parent-child bond. babies start to smell early, and believe me, it's the scent of mama that they love the most. even when i skipped shower, my babies still loved to hug me!!

the next projects

mizan is now 2 years and 5 months. i've been thinking to stop nursing him since he was 2 years old. however mother-led weaning was a difficult process for both mizan and me so i just stopped trying. now he's getting older and i think i need to seriously do this thing no matter how the process will run.

another thing i want to do with him is potty-training. i started potty-train mikal early and it was a stressful and full-of-tears process for both of us. therefore i dont want to be in rush to potty-train mizan. but also, he is almost 2 and a half years now and i think i need to do this soon.

which one should i do first? mother-led-weaning or potty-training?

a very short holiday in Bali

We're just back from a short break in Bali!! The kids's school was off for termly break/holiday so we decided to go to Bali last weekend. Here I share some photos from our holiday.

just arrived - at the hotel lobby

kids club

Mikal and friends were getting ready for cooking class

he took his cooking class very seriously!!

done!!

while waiting for the bread baked in oven..

dinner at the beachwalk

pool.beach.kids club.repeat.

Pura Tirta Empul Tampak Siring Bali

Selfie with the holy spring water as the background

the best crispy fried duck

I spied a pirate ship kite

hiding in the shades when they should get more vitamin D

some thoughts about the organics

a couple months ago we bumped into two students from harvard business school who carried out a research about marketing in some of south east asia countries. we met them when we were about to spend our saturday in klcc mall. the students asked us some questions about children diaper rash products. they asked about the brand, how did we get to know the product, did i do the research about it, did it work well, etc. one of the questions they asked was whether the product i used organic or not. at the moment, i was too shy to answer. i needed a couple of minutes first until i answer, "no, it's not organic."

in the ride back home, i started thinking, why did i feel so bad to answer that i did not provide the organic products for my kids? was it a must? then i started to trace back my experience with organic stuffs since i became a mom.

as i remember, as a new mom for mikal, i tried my best to provide him organic foods. i tried to give him all the best i could get for him since his first food. i still remember how i always looked for time to find some organics fruit, vegetables,and even snacks for him. whether in break hours or after office hours i always searched and tried a new local supermarket that sells organic foods.

although i was not so familiar with the concept of organic clothes or toys back at that time, i also provided my baby with the best stuff i could afford. for examples, the clothes with softest fabrics and toys with non-toxic materials.

now, with two children, getting all the organic products for their needs seems too pricy for me. even our financial condition is getting better, i think organic products are just not worth. it of course makes me feel bad sometimes.  for some stuff, the more expensive it is the better the quality. i do believe that and i do support the organics. however, to me, giving the best for the children is not only about giving the organics. it's more about the time and the attention i give to them. it's about dedicating my life to do the best i can as they grow. it's a study of a life time. interestingly, i found a good article that support my view about this. this article says that food (in this case vegetables or fruits) those are grown by conventional way is perfectly safe to consume by the children. moreover they are full of nutrition and very healthy. these kinds of fruits are also way more healthy than snack bars from the supermarket. so, don't worry to give your children fruits or vegetables from conventional farm because of the pesticides or whatsoever and otherwise providing them with the snacks you get from the supermarket. fruits and vegetables are still the best for human body, whether it grows in conventional or organic way.

as the healthy lifestyle is getting more popular now i see those advertisements about clothes and soft toys with 100 % organic cotton, organic baby toiletries, and so on. what came first in my mind when i saw them was, "okay, i can't afford this. even if i could, i won't force myself to provide my children with this whole thing." the thing is we have two children and i think it is much better to invest some money for the future. let say for their education, the health insurance, or investing the properties for their future. some says providing the organics means large investment for your kids future, yet to me it is just not my thing. if i give my children the organics, it is just because i believe that it is worth it. it is not to follow any lifestyle or because i do not want to be judged as a bad mom from the others. 

bits from our weekend

last weekend we went to our hometown medan to attend a cousin's wedding. mikal and mizan were very happy to see our big family, both from my husband's side and my side. especially for mikal, the time spent in medan was always amazing. he loves to play and laugh  together with his cousins. i took some photos from our weekend and glad to share them in this post.

with cousins!! (from left to right: ica, sisy, mikal,aisyah)

it's always hard to take family picture, but we did it finally!!

this always happens when i try to have the children pose

yeayyy!!

and there they started to escape

giggling!!

oma and opa wanted to pose too

look how my baby pose!!

finally, me and hubby

My five years old baby

my dear  mikal, 5 years ago you came to this world and my life has changed forever. i still remember the night i went into laboring and it will still be here in my mind forever. you teach me to to be a mother. you teach me how to be kind and speak tenderly. you rock my world.

when i see you sleep i see how tall you are,and i remember by the day you are a very loving and caring person. you love your little brother, always try to protect him, though often you have a fight with him over something. sometimes you push him when he tried to take the toy you play with but sometimes you just give up anythig you hold for him.

you love transformers and hotwheels. if you can make it your way you want to buy toys everyday. but mama always tells you that you already have a bunch of toys. you love fruits, ice cream, and noodles. you love to play at the beach and park. you love reading books. your favorite book is the jolly pirate. you love blue. you love paw patrol. you love angry birds.

one night, out of the blue you just told me the story of ghost and vampire. i didn't know where you got those from, but it just made me realize how big you are now.

this year we don't have a chance to celebrate your birthday with family. however mama did her best effort to make a small celebration in your classroom at school during snack time. you got lots of presents from your friends!!

five years old is delicious i wish i could keep you forever in this age. but more than anyting, i always pray for all best things for you.wish you become a smart and responsible human being. wishing you healthy, wealthy, and happiness for your life. i love you, my little hippo. i love you i love you i love you. you may be five now, but you are forever my baby.

birthday celebration with pirate theme at school

crazy kid at the restaurant

as parents of two children, my husband and i are always looking for family entertainments. we especially look for them on weekends. we go out to the parks, zoo, beaches, indoor and outdoor playgrounds, swimming pools, and shopping malls. as we go out, we usually eat at the place nearby. to be honest, my husband and i love to eat (actually, we are obsessed to food!). we love to try a new restaurant or cafe.

however, restaurants and kids are not perfect to combine each other. when we eat at a restaurant, usually it only takes five minutes to have mizan sitting still in his chair.at the age of two, he started refusing to sit in the highchair and chose to sit in the same chair as us. after five minutes of sitting while waiting for the food (and while playing the utensils, bottles of salt and pepper, make noises -which of course is a shame- and so on) he will ask me or my husband to release him. otherwise he will release himself and start standing on the chair. if he can't, he starts to cry and even scream. after being free from his chair, he usually starts to walk and wander around the restaurant. he will come to one table to another. the worst thing happened when he tried to reach the drinks from someone sitting on our next table. 

as the food comes, he rarely eats well (i mean, a lot) in the restaurant, unless he is very very hungry. it only takes very little time for him to do his meal, and he starts being crazy again, wandering around the restaurant. the next thing we do after this is to quickly finish our meal.

we for sure felt a huge embarassment. some people might smile or just laugh to see that kind of children's behaviour, while some made bad judgement about this. however what we felt was people making judgement that our son was naughty, had bad behaviour, and far from cute. others might feel that us as the parents did not teach our children about manners. 

we have been through that for more than a year, and we are still going to eat out. because we just love to do so. we still feel the embarassment, yes. we still finish our own meal quick, yes. yet we still enjoy it. we can never have some time to chat or just enjoy the restaurant atmosphere with these two kids. however we are getting better with this whole thing. we always try to minimize the 'damage' happens while eating out. for example,

1. we try to go to the child-friendly restaurant. there are some restaurants those child-friendly enough. these restaurants provide some coloring papers and pencils. Kuala Lumpur has chili's, TGI Friday, and bubba gumps and co (but the restaurant is quit packed). however in jakarta so far i only found marche (it also has mini-playground), but i believe there are others that i might not know.

2. opt for restaurant that is not so packed and has wider space between one table to another. this is to minimize accident when my children walk (or run!) around the restaurant.

3. bring our own tools to keep them entertain,such as our own pencil and papers, story books,or ipad. it was a success for mikal. however in mizan case, these are not a long-term fix, but still.

4. try not to care about what others opinionate about our children and ourselves. people who raise their eyebrow may not have any kids, or they just have little girls, those who (i always think girls are much sweeter in behaviour) don't have this problem. but kids will be kids. and boys will be boys. being crazy at the restaurant is a natural thing.

5. minimizing the stress by minimizing eating out. sometimes if we were just too tired and it was just too hectic we just chose to have the take out food.

otherwise, for those who do not so much into eating out, i think it is best to wait to have the restaurant thing until your child is ready to understand about how he should behave in a restaurant while always try your best to teach him about manner and how to act in public. Let say, until they are 4 to 5 years old.

 

Breastfeeding in Public? Why not?

earlier this month i saw many posts from friends and people i follow in instagram about world brastfeeding week. speaking about breastfeeding is speaking about my whole life these past two years. i was breastfeeding all my babies since the day they were born. for mikal, i was only able to do that for 11 months otherwise mizan is very lucky to have it until now (he is 25 months old).

mizan, if i can say, now is addicted to be breastfed. i think breastfeeding in toddler years in no more about getting food or nutrition, but it is more about psychology. giving breastmilk for mizan can happen everytime he wants. he doesnt care whether it is nap time, bed time, nor play time. he will ask for it everytime he wants. whether in a private room or in public.

the first time i have to breastfeed with mikal in public i felt so ashamed. i felt like it was something embarassing when my boobs were seen by anyone. at the moment, in our society breastfeeding was still not fully supported. moreover, many people still thought breastfeeding in public was something eneducated. however in the society where breastfeeding was not fully supported it was totally difficult to find any nursing room, even in the shopping center! luckily i was living in the capital where many mothers started realizing the importance of breastfeeding. i could find  nursing apron or other type of nursing cover for sell online. however, as the baby getting bigger, he would feel more uncomfortable with the whole nursing cover thing. mizan is now 25 months old and he always refuse to be put under a cover. that was hoow i finally have to breastfeed him in public. i still try to cover it and make the best position that won't expose my boobs or attract people to see.  however, even sometimes it is hard not to have people see us without raising an eyebrow, to be honest, i dont care. not at all. breastfeeding is a nature thing to do. it is the best for not only the baby, but also the mother. for me when my baby and me blended together is a beautiful thing. i am no longer feel embarassed and i am proud to do that.

Mizan is 2 years old!!

a month after mizan was born my family started our new life in kuala lumpur, malaysia. it was the start of me leaving working life and being a full time mom. it was such a pleasure for me to be able to dedicate my whole time to my children and family. it was also a very good luck for mizan and me, because i was being able to breastfeed mizan until now, when he is two years old.

mizan, you are so lucky because you have mama with you whole day and night. you are also so lucky to have my milk exclusively in your first six month and continually until now, because your brother only had this chance until he was 11 months old. you are also lucky to have me take care of you by myself-without no sitter or carer at all. 

i was so glad because mizan now become a very smart boy and loving boy. when he accidentally bump into me while he was playing, he says, "sorry, mama". when he was about leaving me and papa in our room to play outside, he says, "babay mama, babay papa". he loves playing with mikal so much. before bedtime, mizan and mikal always cuddle and giggle together until they were very sleepy. mizan loves playing in the park and everytings outdoor. mizan loves to sing, he always sings in almost entire day and night. mizan now is no longer allergic to cows milk and all dairy product. he loves chocolate, cheese, orange juice, ice tea, biscuits, and of course ice cream. however, still, what he loves so much is nenepopo (what he refers to breastfeeding)

mizan loves to imitate what i do, or repeat what i say. he always makes me laugh for doing so. his cheeks are so chubby makes  everyone wants to pinch them. my whole family, both from my and my husbands sides, often call us and said that they miss mizan so much and they can't resist to eat him!!

mizan, two years old is awesome and we are so lucky to have you.

love you to the moon and back, infinity times,

mama, papa, and abang mikal.

the finest, richest, creamiest chocolate pudding

my little family is a big fan of chocolate. even mizan who is allergic to cow's milk (including every kind of dairy product) is always craving for chocolate. so last week i googled for some recipe and found this amazing food blogger. i found a recipe of chocolate pudding in this blog and went straight to my kitchen to try this. it was so easy to make and the result was fantastic. my husband is a big fan of fine dessert so he loved this so much. mikal and I loved it. mizan tried a spoonful of the pudding and suddenly the rashes came out in his face. oooh poor my little boy.

here is the recipe:

what you need:

3 cups (675 ml) of fresh whole milk/full cream uht milk

1/3 cup granulated sugar

2 tbsp. cornstarch

2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder

1/4 tsp. salt

2 egg yolks

80 grams dark chocolate, chopped well

1 tsp. vanilla essence

method:

whisk together 1 cup of milk with the sugar, cornstarch, cocoa powder, and salt in a small bowl. when well whisked, put in the egg yolks and whisk. set aside.

in a large saucepan, stir the remaining 2 cups of milk and boil over medium heat. whisk frequenly. as soon as milk comes to a boil, reduce the heat to low. gradually whisk in the egg mixture, stirring quickly to incorporate. continue cooking and stirring until the pudding is thick enough (about 2-3 minutes).

remove from heat and stir the chopped chocolate until it is completely melted and the pudding is smooth. stir the vanilla essence.

serve the pudding warm or cold, with a sprinkling of powdered sugar, nuts, strawberry, or mangoes!! the pudding will thicken up a bit when cooled.

a trip to kuantan

last november we went to kuantan for a short break from our daily activities. we stayed for two nights and three days there. after googling and asking some friends who ever went there we decided to stay in different hotel at each night. it took about 3.5 to 4 hours drive from KL to kuantan. at first night we stayed at hyatt regency kuantan resort. it was located in telok cempedak area. the resort had its own private beach that was so nice and clean. after checking in my husband and me wanted to take a rest first, but since mikal already saw the beach from hotel lobby, he insisted to go straight to the beach. the boys were so happy. they played with wave and sands. my husband was playing kite, mikal was making his sand castle, and mizan was running round and around while i watched them and stared at hundred shades of blue so peacefully.

at night we walked outside the hotel and surprisingly only 5 minute walk from it we could find anything that tourists want to find. there were many kinds of restaurant, from macdonald, kfc, kopitiam, and local seafood restaurant. there were also some souvenir shops and a bouncing castle playground. telok cempedak public beach was quite nice and tidy itself.

the boys kept themselves busy while papa doing the check in

telok cempedak

my boys

local souvenir shop in telok cempedak

on second day we moved to swiss garden resort. this place was also nice with its private beach, pools, and playground, and kids club for children. it was located on the side of balok beach. the hotel was quite far from the city, but  nearby (about 3-5 minutes driving) we found a very nice sea side seafood restaurant. it sold range variety of seafood and the taste was very good. the name of the restaurant was pak su seafood  and my favourite was pak su stuffed crab. it was minced crab meat put in the crab shell and cooked in pak su special way. the taste was incredibly delicious.

playing in balok beach

overall we spent our holiday playing in the beach and pool repeatedly.when the kids were happy, it was enough for us. we didn't go exploring the city cause there were not many to see. there was a newly opened zoo, but a friend suggested it might worth to visit for the next year but not now since there were not many animals or show to see.

you can find information about hyatt regency kuantan resort here and swiss garden resort kuantan here.